Coexist

I'm so sick of seeing those stupid coexist bumper stickers.

How could they forget Pastafarianism?

Until they include us in their "coexisting" we shall strike fear into their hearts, pirating their ships, terrorizing their shores, plundering their booty.

It should look something like this:

Lazy, ungrateful bastards.

End of The World

Where do you run to when the world is being destroyed?

Mars.

Not-So-Good News For Daniel Hauser

Yes that poor child is finally in the hospital, getting his chemo...
But let's be honest, he has absolutely no chance of being a normal, rational, functioning human being. Poor kid.

New Video...?

It seems as though Kayla has tagged me to sing in a video... and of course, I must oblige, for Kayla.

It won't be my usual style of video, but it will be a video nonetheless.  I guess for now I'll just be using my account for messing around, none of my usual argumentative, atheistic stuff.

So for everyone who wants me back on YouTube, you're getting a part of your wish granted.

youtube.com/callif

The Idiot Escapades At Computer Geeks (Part I)

*sarcasm*Working at a computer store is such a delight. You meet some of the most wonderful people!*sarcasm*
Over the weekend I had fixed (or tried to fix) a laptop. We had brought it in thinking that we needed to reinstall the Operating System.
For those of you who don't know, the OS is basically the massive piece of software that lets you interface with the hardware. For most people, Windows XP. Reinstalling this software is a very destructive action that involves reformatting the hard drive.
I plugged in an external USB hard drive, and commenced backing up the data. A short time later I checked on the transfer, only to find that the computer had shut off while I wasn't looking. So I tried again. About ten seconds into the transfer the computer just cut off. Dead. It died quite instantly, and wasn't low on battery, so it couldn't have been the battery or a bad connection to the charger. Since it was a USB hard drive that had (probably) caused the computer to die, the motherboard is a likely candidate for failure. Unfortunately, on a laptop there's nothing I can do to fix it, so it's not my problem anymore.

The owner of the computer comes in the store today to pick up his machine, and so begins my story. This man comes in and we hand him the computer, expecting him to just leave, since we have nothing to show him, not having fixed his computer and all. But no, he takes it, puts it down on the counter and says, "No, you ain't gettin' off that easy." And the fun began.

He claimed that when he brought the computer in there was nothing wrong with it.
"So... why did you bring it to us in the first place?"
"Because the DVD drive wouldn't do what I wanted it to."
So I calmly explained that it wasn't the DVD drive itself, but the operating system that was causing the problem, and that we couldn't fix it because the motherboard was going bad.
"Well you can't just give me back a broken machine, I need a computer!"
So I told him that we didn't do any work on it, so he didn't owe us any money.
"You don't understand though... I need a computer."
I repeated that we couldn't fix it, and he would have to take it somewhere else.
"But it wasn't having that problem when I brought it in, so you must have broken it."
At which point my boss came up and asked him if he had ever even tried to plug something in to the USB port.
"You don't understand... I need my computer!"
"No, I understand, but we can't do anything about that."
"Yes, you can replace my computer!"
"Well it isn't our fault that it's broken."
"But it wasn't having that problem when I brought it in!"
...

That cyclical conversation went on for another five minutes before the owner of the store showed up. She wasn't in a very good mood to begin with, and when she heard the way the conversation was going she wasn't happy. She grabbed the reigns of the conversation, and didn't take any shit from him. At one point he actually said to her "Well, regardless of the facts..." She laughed, turned around, and said, "Just get out of here and sue me then." With a big smile on her face. Of course, that didn't stop him. The conversation finally ended with her saying "shoo" over and over again while he tried to explain that he needed his computer, and that we owed him the money for it.

*Sigh*
This world is truly filled with idiots.

Chek Yo'self B4 You Rek Yo'self

If you've never heard of Ali G, boy are you missing out. You've probably heard of his Khazakstani character, Borat, or maybe even his real name, Sacha Baron Cohen. Bruno, his blatantly homosexual, Austrian character is getting his own movie sometime in the future. But, of course, the funniest of his alter egos is Ali G, shown in the following video. He is, of course, a satirist, and a good one at that, but none of the people in this video are aware of that fact... not even our good creationist friend, Kent Hovind.

Nothing

Hopefully this post won't be as vaccuous as the title implies...
The concept of nothingness has always been something I've struggled with. The way I used to explain it to prospective listeners during late night philosophical conversations is as follows:

"Imagine the universe. Generally people think of it as a spherical object. Now imagine what's outside that sphere. If you subscribe to some sort of multiversal theory, just go out as far as you can and imagine what's outside of that. If you've never thought about it before you're probably imagining blackness, but if you have, you're probably struggling to imagine anything at all, which is exactly what should be going on. Blackness doesn't even begin to cover 'nothing.' It's almost unimaginable. How do you visualize, or even idealize something as 'empty' as nothingness?"

The conversation almost never went farther than that... but I have, and I will here. It becomes even more complicated when you think about what nothingess truly means. To understand the word "existence" we need a concept of nothingness to juxtapose it to. Like I've said before, the universe is a relative place. The only way we understand something is by comparing it to something else. So what is existence? The property of not not-existing. But for nothing to... 'exist' (the only verb that comes close to describing it) there cannot be anything else in 'existence'... because... well, because then it wouldn't really be nothingness, now would it? Seems like a bit of a paradox, but we can always chalk it up to the fact that just because our minds require it, doesn't mean that nothingness has a manifestation in reality. It might only exist in our minds.

Ontological Argument

V requested that I write about

"Anything, everything, something.
Just not nothing."

So I've decided to be facetious and write about exactly that, mixed in with some philosophy, because I guess that's interesting to read about.  Mike Campochiaro, a YouTube theist, once used something called the "Ontological Argument."  I swear, he must be a satirist, because this is the best argument I've heard from him, and it's a pretty pathetic argument.  It goes something (but not necessarily) like this.

Premises

1. You can imagine god

2. God is a perfect being

3. Existing is more perfect than non-existing

Conclusion

4. God must exist

Okay, I probably shouldn't have to explain why this is a preposterous argument that deserves no merit, but I will anyways.  Premise 1 and 2 are a bit shaky by themselves.  How do you define a perfect being? Can the human brain imagine perfection? But beyond all that, premise 3 is an incredibly pompous assumption.  How do you know existing is more perfect? In fact, I would think that non-existence is more perfect! Logically speaking, perfection cannot exist.  Since the universe is subjective, you can't explain anything in non-relative terms, therefore, perfection is an illogical concept.  For example, saying that god is a perfect being is really just saying that he's the most powerful thing you can imagine.  There could always be something better than him, your imagination is just too feeble to conceive of it.  Subjectivity.