Let's Check My Mail!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while!
College has been really busy...* (sort of ;P)

Anyways, remember that "young boy with a purple button up shirt and gelled hair"? Well he's been e-mailing me!

"Hey, it's me again. I thought about what you said, and I clearly understand your view of the Bible and faith. However, I strongly encourage to keep your mind open to truth. I'm sorry you couldn't make it to our revival meetings*, but there is another date I'd like you to keep in mind. November 1 is a special service for our guests. I understand your busy schedule but if it is possible, I can promise you it will be well worth the effort. It's not about joining the church, it's about hearing truth. I really believe if you come with an open mind you'll find answers to a lot of your questions about Christianity, the Bible, and faith. I think it would benifit you more than you think. I appreciate you getting back to me last time and I respect your willingness to talk. My prayer is that the truth (whatever it is), would be clearly revealed to both of us. Here's a Bible verse, John 3:18. There are only two kinds of people, those who believe and those who do not. And there are only two consequences, either you are not condemned to hell or you are. If you have minute, I strongly encourage you to check it out. Later Callif."

 Hefty stuff! Let's focus on the last part:


"There are only two kinds of people, those who believe and those who do not"
Translation: I believe in god, you don't.

"There are only two consequences, either you are not condemned to hell or you are." 
Translation: One of us is going to burn eternally, guess who it is.   
I think he just threatened me!
Fuckin' hypochristians.

*My best friend was coming back in town and I needed to do some heathen partying with him!

Some Theists Just Don't Know How To Take A Joke...

Fox or Foe?

Glenn Beck, Fox talk show host, is at it again.

In his last show, he spoke about Derrion Albert, the 16-year-old who was beaten and killed in a gang fight. Derrion was not even a member of either gang -- he was only trying to help a friend and got caught in the violence.

But the controversy is in Glenn Beck's monologue titled, "God Is Old News; Just Ask the Government." Glenn took advantage Derrion's story and used this tragedy to preach.

"What has caused this?...

God is no longer imprinted on America. Instead of being held up, God is being taken down."

I was most aggravated by this next quote.

"Maybe we need to stop looking at social justice and start looking at eternal justice."

It doesn't matter whether or not there is a god or gods. No matter what, we must all take responsibility. Just as we don't blame "God" for tragedies like this one, we cannot give "God" credit for things like making America powerful (Glenn talks about this in his speech too).

Having said that, there is one thing Glenn said that I do agree with.

"Let's celebrate our freedom...But let's not kill each other."

What A Way To Spend A Thursday

Last Thursday I was bored (only having an hour of class) so I decided to go to the bank.  I looked up the location of the nearest bank on my GPS and started walking.  Unfortunately, technology can't always be trusted.  As it turns out, no such bank exists within walking distance of my house! But that's okay, because it leads nicely into my story:

While walking home defeated, moneyless, and feeling rather unproductive I hear a voice calling in my direction,
"Sir! Sir!"
A young boy with a purple button up shirt and gelled hair is calling me 'sir'... that's odd...
He runs up next to me and keeps stride as he says,
"Do you know where you're going to go when you die?"
So I tell him the truth.
"No."
Seemingly unpleased with me, he probes deeper;
"Well, do you have a minute to talk about it?"
In the interest of intellectual fairness I tell him I'd rather not, but he is quite insistent, so I eventually accede.  Maybe my day could be productive after all?

To make a long story short, we had a very long discussion, if you could even call it that.  It was really more of a "let's listen to a robotic sheep read off a script, then watch him flail when I ask him a legitimate question."  And guess what! I've got the whole thing recorded! Unfortunately, blogger.com does not have a function to upload audio... I'll work on getting it up here though.

Can You Guess What This Means?

"A dysfunction of the cortico-basalganglionic-thalamic circuit."

Sara Callif: Blog Crasher

“The children are our future.”

Given that I was trapped in Jewish days schools, where indoctrination was key, from the ages of 2½ through 13, I’ve heard that saying about a gajillion times too many. However, I had never truly thought about its significance until the other day.

It all started with cereal. I pulled out a box of Honey Nut Cheerios and found this:

Just a box of Cheerios, right?

Wrong!

Look a little closer.

It comes with a prize. *gasp*

But wait…there’s something wrong with this…

Even though the prize is a credit card, it says, "CA$H" on it.

This raises a huge issue. Any child who eats General Mills cereal has seen this “cash card.” Those poor kids won’t be able to tell the difference between cash or credit – even paper or plastic! And before you can say supercalif(heylookitsalmostmylastname!bythewaythisissaracallifwriting)ragilisticexpialidocious, the world will overflow due to poor people and pollution.

To sum up this rant, if the children are the future, and they eat General Mills cereal, then we, as the present (or are we the past?) are screwed. No human can save us now. Our only hope is prayer – to FSM.

And just in case that doesn’t work, I’ll be buying a one-way ticket to Hell. Feel free to join the party.

rAmen.

~Sara Callif

Hurray! Sara Made It!

Please welcome my sister, Sara, as the new co-author of this blog! She's young, smart, and sassy; I'm sure you'll love her posts.

How I'll Have My Bachelor's Degree At 19

Anonymous commented on a previous post:

"lmfao. one of ur best postes ever callif.
btw, wut year r u in college? do u hav credits to graduate early or anything?"

First of all, thank you! I try :)

Also, I am a junior in college (18 years old), but I will be graduating in about a year and a half.  How's that for early! I don't want to blow your anonymity but I'm just going to assume you're in either high school or college, and if you are, this post will be of great help to you!

(Anyone else in college or high school reading this should be paying attention right now)


This is the way I did it, but many people seem to think they wouldn't be able to follow in my footsteps.

I dropped out of high school, basically just bumming around for a little bit.  At that point I was learning a lot on my own, but not getting good grades, so we figure the best option would be to stop forcing me to go to high school and let me teach myself whatever I wanted to learn; homeschooling.
That's the part most people seem to flinch at.
Personally I think everyone is capable of it, you just have to realize that high school is not a good representative of pure learning, and if you were allowed to teach yourself whatever you wanted however you wanted to it could be a lot more fun... but that's besides the point, even if I could convince you highschoolers to homeschool, I doubt you'd be able to convince your parents... so we'll move on to the easier part.

CLEP tests

According to the website linked above, CLEP is the "College Level Examination Program."  Basically it's a bunch of tests designed to let you go to college cheaply, efficiently, and quickly.  Each tests takes about 3 weeks to study for (4 months for a regular course), costs $70-$120 with the textbook ($1000-$1500 for a regular college course and textbook), and is anywhere from 3-12 credits (A one semester course is 3-4 credits).  At least some of these tests are likely offered and accepted your local college.  Go to the CLEP page on the College Board website (link given above) and follow the instructions on their page.

If you do plan on trying out some of these tests you should do a couple things.  First, make sure that the specific test you want to take is accepted for credit at the college you want to attend.  You would probably have to visit the website of the college to get that information.  Second, make sure Amazon,  eBay, or your local book store carries the REA Study Guide, which is by far the best way to prepare for a CLEP (the REA website also has them for sale, and although they're more expensive you get tons of money off if you buy 3 or more).  These books have a great study schedule set up for you, as well as 2 practice tests to give you an idea of how well you'll do on the real exam.

Once you've done all that it's just a matter of taking the test and getting the credit for your newly gained knowledge! You don't have to be in high school or college to make this work for you either.  Adults looking to further their education should take this offer into consideration as well!

If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me, or leave a comment! Happy learning :D